![]() ![]() They need houses built, they need food to eat, they need entertainment, they need fulfilling sexual relationships. If you want to know why society seems to shun you, or why you seem to get no respect, it's because society is full of people who need things. All of society is the bleeding gunshot victim. Only you are the confused guy with the pocket knife. So here is my terrible truth about the adult world: You are in that very situation every single day. In that panicked moment, you will take your bloody hands and shake him by the shoulders, screaming, " Yes, I'm saying that none of that other shit matters, because in this specific situation, I just need somebody who can stop the bleeding, you crazy fucking asshole." Now the man becomes agitated - why are you being shallow and selfish? Do you not care about any of his other good qualities? Didn't you just hear him say that he always remembers his girlfriend's birthday? In light of all of the good things he does, does it really matter if he knows how to perform surgery? He tells you that he is a great son to his mother and has a rich life full of fulfilling hobbies, and he boasts that he never uses foul language.Ĭonfused, you say, "How does any of that fucking matter when my is lying here bleeding! I need somebody who knows how to operate on bullet wounds! Can you do that or not?!?" He tells you that he is a nice guy, he is honest, he is always on time. You say, "But you know what you're doing, right? You're an old Army medic, or. A guy rushes up and says, "Step aside." He looks over your loved one's bullet wound and pulls out a pocket knife - he's going to operate right there in the street. He or she is lying in the street, bleeding and screaming. Let's say that the person you love the most has just been shot. I regularly update it as times change.Ħ The World Only Cares About What It Can Get from You Note: I originally posted this in December of 2012, and to date it has drawn more than 25 million page views. My only defense is that this is what I wish somebody had said to me around 1995 or so. ![]() If you found that difficult, well, this is for you, and you are going to fucking hate hearing it. ![]() ![]() But here's the catch - you're not allowed to list anything you are (i.e., I'm a nice guy, I'm honest), but instead can only list things that you do (i.e., I just won a national chess tournament, I make the best chili in Massachusetts). Write them down or just shout them out loud to the room. Via įor the rest of you, I want you to try something: Name five impressive things about yourself. So you don't feel like you wasted your click, here's a picture of Lenny Kravitz wearing a gigantic scarf. You're doing a great job, we're all proud of you. Enjoy the rest of your day, friend, this article is not for you. LET'S FIGURE THAT OUT TOGETHER, MOTHERFUCKERS.įeel free to stop reading this if your career is going great, you're thrilled with your life, and you're happy with your relationships. ![]()
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